I am a child of divorce. I am a 52 year old father of three children. I am married but in a mixed marriage. We do not share the same faith background.
I am the third child of four. I have two older sisters and a younger brother. My mom was 15 when she got pregnant with my oldest sister. My dad was
19. They were married 6 months before my sister was born. They had four kids in five years. My sisters are actually 11 months apart (Irish
Twins).
My mom was raised Catholic and actually had the notion of being a nun. My father did not have a strong faith background and was nominally Christian. He
converted to Catholicism before they were married. My sisters, brother and I were very close given our proximity in age. We were all baptized and received
Holy Communion. My sisters were both confirmed but neither my brother nor I were confirmed.
About the time I was in seventh grade my parents began to fight. They would spend hours every night screaming at each other in the laundry room in the
basement with the washer and dryer running, but it did little to muffle their yelling. My dad never inflicted any physical harm on my mother nor did
she to him. They verbally abused each other for about a year. Then when I was in 8th grade they announced their divorce. The four of us were completely
devastated. We huddled together to protect each other.
My Dad moved out. Over the next several years he would drive by the house and find ways to taunt her or try to reconcile with her. It was torture for all
of us.
He remarried around the time I turned 16. From the very first day and up to this day I did not get along with his wife. She has always been emotionally
unstable, and at one point attempted suicide. I hated my dad for the divorce, for marrying her, and I had little respect for him. I still have not
completely reconciled with him. Our relationship is tense, and I see him almost every day.
My Mom stayed in the house and lives there still today. She remarried to a man I have not liked from the beginning. He has had health problems and has
been on disability for the last 25 years. He only briefly worked when they were married. He did not own anything substantial at the time of their marriage.
His medical bills are in the hundreds of thousands of dollars but are all taken care of through the VA. He is barely mobile and can hardly get around
the house. He has driven us all away from our mother. When she calls us to help her with something, we are all reluctant because of the drama we have
to deal with. I rarely talk to my mother on the phone because he is in the background interjecting comments.
I left the church as a teenager and did not return until my oldest daughter was born 18 years ago. My wife was raised in an Evangelical church, and she
and I have gone to separate churches every Sunday for the past 18 years. She raised our daughters in her church, and I go to mass alone.
Yay, divorce!
Submitted February 10, 2016 by D.B.