Stories

Stories collected for our Resource Centers


Blair Logsdon: 167 Transgender Surgeries

 

Blair’s story isn’t readily available in many places online. He has shared it with Walt Heyer, and it was published on the Daily Signal in 2018, and we will quote from that here. 167 surgeries, all gender transition related, earned Blair Logsdon an entry in the Guiness Book of World Records. It is somewhat disconcerting, for both him, and the medical community. It eventually cost him over $220,000.


 

Blair struggled with feeling comfortable in his body, and in 1987 he attempted to use surgery to help him feel better about his body. Similarly to Walt Heyer’s own story, Blair felt uncomfortable within a very short time from his surgery. After that initial surgery, Blair waited some five years before he had another surgery to restore his male genitalia.

At this point, if someone wanted an additional surgery, most of us would question whether physical intervention would really solve the problem. You would expect medical experts, whether surgeons, therapists, or psychologists would step in and reevaluate the original diagnosis of gender dysphoria and evaluate additional factors, including any signs of comorbidities.

Unfortunately, none of the medical professionals who treated him cared more about lining their pockets rather than his emotional and mental well being.  “Doctors, apparently with total and reckless disregard for Logsdon’s emotional, psychological, and sexual well-being, ignored his obvious distress about previous cosmetic surgeries and indulged his requests for more. He was “caught in a cycle of hope followed by disappointment.” Over the years, Blair experienced a strange combination of feeling regrets over his feminizing surgeries, and a very strong desire for additional feminizing surgeries. “

Over the course of 18 years, Blair received 167 surgeries and filled the bank accounts of seven surgeons with over $220,000. Having been entirely failed by the medical and therapeutic industries over that time period, Blair, who says that he feels disfigured from those surgeries, eventually turned to Jesus Christ. He said he was able to find his “true self” in the gospel.

Blair’s story deserves mention, and his treatment, as well as the medical professionals, deserves scrutiny.

 



First Legal Non-Binary Person Regrets and Detransitions: James Shupe


James Shupe lived for 6 years as a transgender woman. His transgender activism prompted far reaching changes, from pushing the state of Oregon to make gender neutral bathrooms, to receiving a legal non-binary gender designation, even on his birth certificate. But in 2019 he detransitioned and was able to restore his birth name and gender. His transgender story begins in childhood, is complex, distressing, and reveals terrible lapses in our national mental health infrastructure.

After a discharge from the military, Shupe found that he was increasingly distressed and felt at odds with his body. His solution was to visit a nurse practitioner in 2013 and threaten to get and inject hormones on his own if she didn’t prescribe him what he asked for. That same day, even though the nurse had never met him, she ordered the hormone treatments.

What followed were three years of attempting to live in what he perceived as a woman’s body. During that time he was planning on receiving surgery to compliment the hormonal treatments he was taking. Only one lone therapist raised concerns about his treatments and procedures. He not only fired her, but filed a formal complaint against her. All the other professionals went along with his desire to look like a woman.

 


 

His fantasy of living as a woman came tumbling down after those first three years. He said, “Despite having taken or been injected with every hormone and antiandrogen concoction in the VA’s medical arsenal, I didn’t look anything like a female. People on the street agreed. Their harsh stares reflected the reality behind my fraudulent existence as a woman. Biological sex is immutable.”

His next steps were to receive legal recognition as a non-binary person. Through some clever legal maneuvering, a transgender-activist lawyer, and a transgender friendly judge, he made international headlines by having his sex change form declare him “non-binary.” The attention he garnered caused further stress, and while he had attempted the “non-binary” designation as a compromise, and he was hospitalized several times over the next few years.

The root cause of all of this stress, in reality, dates back to his childhood. His childhood was far from happy. His parents beat him violently. He recalled that his mother beat him for “being a sissy.” Understandably, his psyche was scarred, and he was left emotionally vulnerable. During his childhood, he was also sexually abused by his uncle.

After entering the army, and marrying his wife (who, amazingly, stuck by him through the entire process) he became ensnared by pornography. “After having watched pornography for years while in the Army and being married to a woman who resisted my demands to become the ideal female, I became that female instead. At least in my head.” Autogynephilia, a man who is attracted to the idea of himself as a female, is the disorder, articulated by Dr. Ray Blanchard, that explains one of two types of transgender women (the other being homosexuals that are attracted to men).

That none of his medical professionals asked why he felt the way he did, or even looked into the post-traumatic stress he experienced while in the army, shows the power of the transgender lobby. They have cowed the medical profession into ignoring the Hippocratic Oath, and get them to engage in serious psychological and physical harm.

And harm there was. Speaking to PJ Media’s Tyler O’Neil, Shupe detailed the disastrous effects of the hormonal treatment on not only his body, but his mind.

“I ended up in the psych ward three times because of hormones. I had blood clots in my eyes because my estrogen levels were 2,585 instead of 200, low bone density, problems controlling my bladder, and emotional instability. Blood tests indicated I was dropping into kidney disease territory (EFGR below 60) for about 18 months, I had chronic dermatology issues and skin reactions to estrogen patches, I passed out on the kitchen floor from Spironolactone.”

Noticeably absent was a discussion from the terrible side effects that this type of treatment causes. It is almost as though the potential profits blind the physicians to their responsibility to do no harm.

James’ life has been full of difficulties and hardships, both from the affirmation therapy from the professionals, and his distressed upbringing. He has, however, come to a realization about his life and actions. “In January 2019, unable to advance the fraud for another single day, I reclaimed my male birth sex. The weight of the lie on my conscience was heavier than the value of the fame I’d gained from participating in this elaborate swindle.” No longer is he referenced as the man who started the “non binary’ legal option, and he is no longer the darling of the liberal media. But he is a man working to live truth, and speak out about his part in changing it.

He spoke to the Daily Signal about moving forward after detransitioning. He referenced the 12 steps of the Alcoholics Anonymous program, and said it works with other addictions, including compulsive sexual behavior.

“I have admitted that I am powerless over my mental illness and transvestic disorder. I have accepted that my life has become unmanageable and that only a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity. And I have made a conscious decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand Him.”

“It took seeing and experiencing all of that destruction and recognizing the harms of it for me to finally understand that Christianity builds stronger families, safer communities, and most importantly, a better nation.”

His story is real. His pain is real. His transition, and subsequent desisting, are real. Let’s not ignore his powerful testimony, or forget him.

 



Hidden Dangers of The Mind: A Detransitioner’s Tale

I was a lesbian for 22 years. Then I lived as a female to male transsexual for 17 years before detransitioning.

My name is Maritza. I was born in Havana, Cuba. My mother was given a form of estrogen to prevent miscarriages. She was able to carry me to term, but not without ramifications. I dealt with health issues, from asthma to reproductive female issues. I was not your average female. I had a deeper voice, bad menses, and a slew of emotional and neurological instabilities.

I was sexually molested from age 8 to 12. My parents were dysfunctional, particularly my father, who was an abusive, alcoholic control freak. My mother was emotionally incapable of dealing with me. She was an ill woman and was spoiled by my grandmother.

Many of our childhood traumas come back to haunt us as adults. Unresolved emotional issues show themselves in various facets of disassociation and grief, to the point where we create poor coping skills to mask the pain. I believe same sex attraction stems from rejection, sexual abuse, and a mother or father wound. I’ve seen this not only in myself, but in many others.

 


 

If we’ve been hurt, we engage in a behavior that allows us to run away from who we are. Instead of being angry at the person who mistreated us, we blame ourselves. We self-harm. We see ourselves as not good enough; therefore, an alteration of our character, to include mannerism, gender or sexual expression, rises.

We try to fix the situation by creating an alternative person attracted to the same sex, so we do not have to repeat the scenario that took place with our parent. Many try to replace that parent with a same-sex partner. No one in their right and balanced mind would choose to gender swap or be same-sex attracted. This is done out of despair and in attempt to "fix" a situation.

There is no objective finding to prove that we are born gay. This new gender craze is based on nothing more than junk science and a rather crafty marketing scheme. There is a dark agenda behind it, led by the elites, who are trying to bring in a brave new world.

So how did I get to where I am today? After all, I had bought the lies and believed the gender craze. I advocated for the trans community, did the TV circuit, and even wrote a book called, The Mirror Makes No Sense. I believed that I was born wrong. Years of research, however, led me to understand that there is no evidence that anyone is born wrong or that there is a nature within that makes you gay. We are programmed by our creator to be heterosexual, so where does this paradigm come from? Our fallen nature and our need to fix things.

From all the failed relationships and lack of true happiness came the realization that the life I chose had lots of holes in it. You begin to think that feeling this way is normal. You fight for it. You claim others are wrong, but when you dive into the real essence of it, you realize that it is all based on lies.

I believe that the Father, our creator, used my situation to awaken me to the truth. I was in several relationships with trans women who still had their male parts. And although I was repulsed at one point by men, due to the sexual molestation and the aggressive alcoholic father, being with transwomen helped heal those wounds. In some strange way, I no longer feared men. I was also healed from my same sex attraction.

Today people claim all sorts of disorders, none of which have any biological nature but are psychological and situational. But politicians have an agenda to push. There are medications to be sold and procedures to be had. The corruption of society is quite the circus, one I am glad to no longer be part of.

I am in gratitude to my savior, who through his patience, love and persistence, allowed my chains to be broken. I no longer identify as a lesbian. I no longer want to be seen as a man. I am content to be the daughter of the Most High, here help others break free from the programming and brainwashing the trans agenda has to offer.

I want people to know that there is hope. If they want healing and ask the Father for guidance, they will find it. Without a shadow of a doubt, no one is born wrong, and God does not make mistakes. The adversary toils with your pain, places bad ideas in your mind and heart, and will make you believe lies. You owe it to yourself to learn the real you, to realize that life was not meant to be as hard as you make it. Let him take control and heal you once and for all.

 

 

 

Maritza currently maintains her blog and a YouTube channel. In both places she shares her story as well as the stories from other desisters. We are grateful to her for submitting her story to be shared with the Ruth Institute.