Stories

Stories collected for our Resource Centers


Jeffrey McCall - Dangerous Trans Lifestyle to Desisting


Jeffrey McCall is fortunate in that his body doesn’t carry the physical scars from transition surgeries, nor does he have the internal and psychological damage from hormone therapy. The tragedy for McCall comes in the confusion he felt and the lifestyle he lived for many years.

Jeffrey’s story begins as a young boy – he didn’t conform to the stereotypical boy behaviors. The other kids began to tease him and suggest he might be gay. He eventually agreed with him and by age 15 he had acted on it. From the time he was 15 to the time he was 23, his life spiraled further and further downward.

He began dating older men. After the death of his brother, and a beloved aunt, he began to experience panic attacks and was prescribed (and heavily abused) Xanax. He eventually moved from rural Georgia to LGBT-friendly Nashville. While there, he felt as though he fit in due to the integration his LGBT friends had in life in the city. He put all of his energy into his homosexual identity and his boyfriend. But his life wasn’t as stable as he would have liked.

 


 

“After the relationship ended I went back to alcohol. Immediately after alcohol I started experimenting more with crystal meth. These were some of the darkest days of my life. Xanax entered the picture again and before I knew it I was taking Xanax every day, throughout the day, while smoking crystal meth. I would stay up for days – one time I even stayed up around 5 or 6 days.”

His lifestyle continued to be destructive and hampered his growth. Providentially, his father received a job at Emmanuel College and offered Jeffrey an opportunity to attend, tuition free. Jeffrey accepted, and, after having the initial shock of going back to chickens and barns wear off, his academic performance, and even his life, began to stabilize. He did well in his classes and even got full pay for a TA position for his Master’s program.

Despite the trappings of his life appearing more stable, his inner turmoil was growing. He eventually developed a new personality, Scarlet, and lived as Scarlet more and more frequently. Speaking of his connection with his transgender personality, McCall said, “You see you have to understand this part of my life with Scarlet. This was my hope at that time in life. It was everything I put my life into and it was my identity – my friends accepted it, my life and my future was all wrapped up in this identity as ‘Scarlet.’”

His life spiraled out of control again. As he went further from God, he came closer to alcohol and promiscuity, as well as performing in drag shows. He said he often would be with a new man every day, even sometimes with married men. The weight of his actions was so crushing to him that he would often cry out to God at night, promising to change, but he never seemed able to change his life.

While his life was in turmoil, he had two mentors that helped him through his turmoil: a professor who had been molested as a child, and Pastor Jentezen Franklin. His professor, who always referred to Jeffrey as “Scarlet,” had been through similar experiences as McCall had in her childhood, but had learned to be happy, enjoy life, and was even married with children. He eventually opened up to this professor, who was kind enough to listen.

Pastor Franklin had a church that Jeffrey attended twice while he was in school. While Jeffrey did not attend the church in person, he found that Pastor Franklin …would come on television, or, I would look him up on YouTube. I would listen to him and the Holy Spirit was using it to convict me of sin.” It was a somewhat unique, if not ironic, situation. He had a secret life of listening to a Christian pastor while living publicly as a transsexual.

McCall described a powerful experience he had at the end of his time in graduate school. One night, as he sat in his room crying, he opened his heart to God in prayer. “God, I know people live for you, not just go to church on Sunday, not just play a religious game, like something happened and their life was transformed. And I said, 'Will I ever live for you?' My voice went silent. My thoughts stopped. And I heard God say, 'Yes, you will live for me.”

A few months later, he made the decision to completely give up the identity of Scarlet. He threw away all the clothing, makeup, wigs, and everything. The decision to completely move away from that, especially after having received a diagnosis of gender dysphoria and planning on receiving surgeries, was a tremendous step towards living a life removed from sin, but it wasn’t his only one.

He decided that he needed to make a video explaining his decision and to share that on social media. Some of the comments he received from his video were not very complimentary, verging on abusive and cruel. “'You can't leave homosexuality. You're transitioning. Like, This is who you are. What do you mean you're just leaving everything?” While such a decision and feedback might have caused him to have a relapse in the past, his faith helped him move forward.

"When I started losing the friends and some family members, my relationship with the Lord just kept blossoming. The day that I made the Facebook live video, that was the day I was filled with the Holy Spirit. The Bible became completely alive to me.” Even though things were difficult, he didn’t quit, but kept moving forward. He said, of the transition, “It was a lot to handle. I had to explain to people that it wasn’t about becoming ‘straight’. It was a choice not to follow sin. The alcoholic, transgender, homosexual, prescription drug life I had was not what God had created me for.”

 

 

Currently, Jeffrey McCall works to organize Freedom Marches, focusing on the stories of men and women who have left the LGBT life. The events are to bring hope to people trapped in the same lifestyle that he had, and to show that they can be freed by Jesus and be transformed.

 



Hidden Dangers of The Mind: A Detransitioner’s Tale

I was a lesbian for 22 years. Then I lived as a female to male transsexual for 17 years before detransitioning.

My name is Maritza. I was born in Havana, Cuba. My mother was given a form of estrogen to prevent miscarriages. She was able to carry me to term, but not without ramifications. I dealt with health issues, from asthma to reproductive female issues. I was not your average female. I had a deeper voice, bad menses, and a slew of emotional and neurological instabilities.

I was sexually molested from age 8 to 12. My parents were dysfunctional, particularly my father, who was an abusive, alcoholic control freak. My mother was emotionally incapable of dealing with me. She was an ill woman and was spoiled by my grandmother.

Many of our childhood traumas come back to haunt us as adults. Unresolved emotional issues show themselves in various facets of disassociation and grief, to the point where we create poor coping skills to mask the pain. I believe same sex attraction stems from rejection, sexual abuse, and a mother or father wound. I’ve seen this not only in myself, but in many others.

 


 

If we’ve been hurt, we engage in a behavior that allows us to run away from who we are. Instead of being angry at the person who mistreated us, we blame ourselves. We self-harm. We see ourselves as not good enough; therefore, an alteration of our character, to include mannerism, gender or sexual expression, rises.

We try to fix the situation by creating an alternative person attracted to the same sex, so we do not have to repeat the scenario that took place with our parent. Many try to replace that parent with a same-sex partner. No one in their right and balanced mind would choose to gender swap or be same-sex attracted. This is done out of despair and in attempt to "fix" a situation.

There is no objective finding to prove that we are born gay. This new gender craze is based on nothing more than junk science and a rather crafty marketing scheme. There is a dark agenda behind it, led by the elites, who are trying to bring in a brave new world.

So how did I get to where I am today? After all, I had bought the lies and believed the gender craze. I advocated for the trans community, did the TV circuit, and even wrote a book called, The Mirror Makes No Sense. I believed that I was born wrong. Years of research, however, led me to understand that there is no evidence that anyone is born wrong or that there is a nature within that makes you gay. We are programmed by our creator to be heterosexual, so where does this paradigm come from? Our fallen nature and our need to fix things.

From all the failed relationships and lack of true happiness came the realization that the life I chose had lots of holes in it. You begin to think that feeling this way is normal. You fight for it. You claim others are wrong, but when you dive into the real essence of it, you realize that it is all based on lies.

I believe that the Father, our creator, used my situation to awaken me to the truth. I was in several relationships with trans women who still had their male parts. And although I was repulsed at one point by men, due to the sexual molestation and the aggressive alcoholic father, being with transwomen helped heal those wounds. In some strange way, I no longer feared men. I was also healed from my same sex attraction.

Today people claim all sorts of disorders, none of which have any biological nature but are psychological and situational. But politicians have an agenda to push. There are medications to be sold and procedures to be had. The corruption of society is quite the circus, one I am glad to no longer be part of.

I am in gratitude to my savior, who through his patience, love and persistence, allowed my chains to be broken. I no longer identify as a lesbian. I no longer want to be seen as a man. I am content to be the daughter of the Most High, here help others break free from the programming and brainwashing the trans agenda has to offer.

I want people to know that there is hope. If they want healing and ask the Father for guidance, they will find it. Without a shadow of a doubt, no one is born wrong, and God does not make mistakes. The adversary toils with your pain, places bad ideas in your mind and heart, and will make you believe lies. You owe it to yourself to learn the real you, to realize that life was not meant to be as hard as you make it. Let him take control and heal you once and for all.

 

 

 

Maritza currently maintains her blog and a YouTube channel. In both places she shares her story as well as the stories from other desisters. We are grateful to her for submitting her story to be shared with the Ruth Institute.