by CTW (Illinois)
1973 – two years before the divorce
http://www.marriage-ecosystem.org/the-myth-of-divorce-as-the-way-to-solve-all-your-problems.html
http://www.marriage-ecosystem.org/turned-out-all-right.html
And now I have an addendum. My dad’s third wife passed away a few months ago (in early 2014). In the aftermath of the third wife’s death, my dad sold their
house in Florida and prepared to move back up the Chicago area to be nearer to the children from his first two marriages. To everyone’s surprise, my
mom drove down to Florida with him to help him pack up the house, take things to Goodwill, deliver other items to the deceased wife’s relatives, and
so on. And then they drove up here to Illinois and now live in my mom’s house together.
They seem to get along. They call each other “sweetie” and “love.” They go shopping together. They have bought some new furniture. They are preparing a
trip overseas to visit relatives. They behave like any retired couple.
All of this has taken place with no explanation, no announcement, no acknowledgement that this might be a little strange or even painful for their adult
children. Every time I see them together, I think to myself, as I watch them fixing each other tea and sandwiches or whatever, “How come you didn’t
realize 40 years ago that you could actually get along? Don’t you realize that your reconciliation is 40 years too late? At least two generations —
your offspring and their offspring — are negatively impacted by your selfish choice of 40 years ago and now you waltz around acting like nothing happened,
and we’re all supposed to be so happy for you.”
I am old enough and jaded enough to know not to bother saying any of the above to either of them (especially my mother — she’s the one who denies that
the divorce had any serious impact on my brothers and I, since “we turned out all right”) but I cannot help feeling bitter about this latest development.