This is a moderated blog is a project of the Ruth Institute. Have a story to share? We're listening.
The grass isn't always greener
Posted on Wednesday, March 23, 2016
When I was 13, my mom began an affair with an old boyfriend, who she ran into at a reunion. She eventually divorced my dad, and married him. My father
was devastated. My mom justified her actions by telling everyone their marriage had been miserable and my dad treated her poorly. This was a huge
source of gossip in the mid 80's in our small town, and I felt like everyone was talking about my family behind my back. Both my parents were too
busy trashing each other to notice what their divorce had done to me. My mom felt she was entitled to be happy with her new husband, and people
get divorced all the time, and so it was all really no big deal and I would get over it. Karma did get her though--her amazing old boyfriend turned
out to have a big drinking problem, and her new marriage spiraled downhill fast. She eventually divorced him too. Like so many people, she discovered
the grass really wasn't greener with someone else. If only more people understood this.
I was, and remain, 100% committed to never putting my children through anything like what I went through. I married a wonderful man and we recently
celebrated our 15th anniversary. It shocks me when I realize that we are approaching the length of time my parents were married when my mom's affair
began. We have two children who are our entire world, and when I look at them I can't fathom for one minute putting them through anything like
that. To this day, I still feel pain over the fact that my mom didn't feel the same way. It's been over 25 years and that pain is still there.