Men and Abortion: Comforting Those Who Cry Alone

by Ryan MacPherson

Reprinted, with permission of the author, from LifeDate (Lutherans for Life, Fall 2013)

Abortion is a men’s issue. Yes, abortion is also a women’s issue. And it certainly is a children’s issue—a child’s life is at stake. But abortion
is a men’s issue—a fact too readily overlooked these days.

In 1992, the U.S. Supreme Court took men out of the picture by declaring in Planned Parenthood v. Casey that no state may guarantee a man
the right to share in the decision of whether his wife or girlfriend would preserve or abort their child. Every woman would have the “right” to
make that choice alone. Even minor girls would, in some instances, be permitted to abort a child without informing their own fathers or mothers.

No matter what the courts say, abortion genuinely remains a men’s issue. Human nature can have it no other way—every baby has a dad. God has
designed men to care for women and to protect children. When men fail to do so, they suffer guilt. When men are prohibited from doing so, they
suffer a loss of masculinity. But so long as abortion is framed as a “woman’s right” or as a “women’s health issue,” the men who suffer do so largely
in silence—struggling with great inner turmoil.

Each man has a unique story, but some basic patterns connect their stories with one another. Men whose children have been aborted need healing, they
need redemption, and until they experience these they cry alone. Men whose fatherhood has been cut short struggle over their identities. They feel
inadequate as leaders. They have difficulty with commitment. Abortion drives a wedge between mom and dad, whether married or not. Past abortions
also have ongoing significance, as when a man whose child was aborted by his girlfriend later marries and attempts to become a responsible husband
and father while memories from the past haunt him.

Some men pressure their girlfriends to have an abortion. Other men hope for their child’s life, but feel powerless against the “it’s a woman’s body”
argument that leaves the mother of the child calling all the shots. Guilt and sorrow are universal.

When Michel Sauret (author of Child, Hold Me) learned that his girlfriend, Heather, was pregnant, his initial impulse was to seek an abortion—despite
his Christian faith. That’s how society had programmed him to escape from an “inconvenient” situation. In one breath, Michel “hated the idea of
abortion even being available and tempting,” but simultaneously that temptation warped his mind into thinking “it was a choice … no more
threatening than the color of wall paint.”

When Heather miscarried, a whole new set of emotions surfaced. After they married, Michel and Heather struggled against infertility for years. These
experiences taught them that God’s gift of children is not something to be toyed with. In time, God blessed them with a child; moreover, God’s
forgiveness in Christ enabled them to come to terms with their past.

Men who have been entangled by the snare of abortion often experience guilt, remorse, hopelessness,
and—if Christ is proclaimed—redemption (Kevin Burke, et al., Redeeming A Father’s Heart: Men Share Powerful Stories of Abortion Loss and Recovery):

Just as God forgave Saul, the great persecutor of the early church, transforming him into Saint Paul, the great evangelist to the Gentiles, so also
God redeems men who have been entangled by the sin of abortion. Some of these men have become, like Saint Paul, powerful spokespersons who proclaim,
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). Other men are still waiting to hear comforting
words like these—might you be the one to tell them?

 

 

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