|
Recognize that most people are thinking of themselves most the of the time. Seeing this about your spouse will save you a lot of disappointment. Seeing this about yourself will help you realize what your spouse has to put up with.
How many times have you sat opposite your spouse at the dinner table and launched into a monologue of the detailed intricacies of this all-consuming project you're working on, only to take a breath and have him change the subject to whatever all-consuming task he's been working on. When he pauses, you go back to talking about your thing, slightly annoyed that he changed the subject to himself--you weren't finished yet. Then he does the same thing right back at you. Teeter totter, back and forth, until you've both gotten it all out, though with some irritation on your part. But guess what, he was feeling the same way! No matter how important and interesting you think your project is, the world still doesn't revolve around you. If anything, it revolves around the two of you as a pair. Access your inner child, go back to kindergarten, and learn how to share.
Want more marriage saving tips? Get all 101 here.
|
|
 by Jennifer Roback Morse, Ph.D.
Part 1 of 2
Dr. Morse gave this speech at Hong Kong Baptist University, April 23, 2011, at a conference of Western and Chinese scholars, entitled “The Family and Sexual Ethics: Christian Foundations and Public Values.” China is experiencing numerous problems due to family breakdown, including the one child policy, high divorce rates, and an imbalanced sex ratio. This conference was convened because many in China, even in the Academy of Science and in government, are interested in what Christianity has to say about marriage, family, sexuality and society. The conference papers will be translated into Chinese and published in book form.
We have been invited here to describe the Christian view of family, love and marriage. I am honoured by the invitation, and somewhat overwhelmed by the task. I will take it as my duty to present the ancient Christian teaching, and show how it might inform our policies of today. First, I will explain what the Church teaches: God loves each and every person into existence, and desires that human beings love the next generation into existence. This means that children should be begotten by their parents within an institutional context of permanent committed love, in other words, in marriage.
Second, I show that science supports the broad outline of Christian teaching. The human person is meant for love. Children thrive as individuals within married households. Society needs people who have developed consciences and self-control. This takes place in childhood, by being in a relationship with a loving adult. The economy and the political system, actually depend on love. Finally, I show what this Christian understanding of the family implies for public policy.
Before I begin, I should make one clear distinction. I will be describing the teaching of the Roman Catholic Church. I do this for several reasons. First, I am a Roman Catholic, and this is the tradition I know best. Second, non-Catholic Christians may differ from the Catholic Church, and indeed may differ among themselves about some of the points I raise here. Non-Catholic Christians are free to associate themselves with what I say here, as they see fit. I do not want to presume to speak for all Christians of every denomination.
I will leave it to each of you, whatever your faith background may be, to associate yourselves with what I say, as you see fit. Indeed, I hope that all of you, Christian and non-Christian alike, will wish to associate yourselves with what some of what I say here. At the very least, I hope you will have gained some respect for the ancient Christian teachings.
Part 1: What Christians believe
So what is the ancient teaching of Christianity? We believe that God created the universe out of nothing, as an act of pure love. He did not need to create: He is completely sufficient in Himself. But the Divine love among the three persons of the Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit gushed out into the series of creative acts recorded in Genesis. God declared everything He had created to be “good.” (Gen 1:10) After the creation of man, God declared His creation to be “very good.” (Gen 1:31) It is an article of our faith that everything God created is good. God did not create anything evil.
“Let us make man in our image, according to our likeness.... So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” (Gen 1:26) What does it mean to be created in the image and likeness of God? Christians believe “God is love,” (1 John 4:8) and that God is a communion of persons, the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. To be created in the image of a Trinitarian God, is to be created for love and for communion with others.
Because “it is not good for man to be alone,” God created woman. Upon seeing her, Adam exclaimed, “this one at last is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.” (Gen 2:23). Eve is not a clone of Adam, nor is she so different that she is another species. She is like him but not identical with him. Genesis continues, “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Gen 2:24) With these words, God created marriage, the first human social institution. He told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply, which is the first of His commands. (Gen 1:28)
God created Adam and Eve out of love, and for love. God intended them to love Him and to love one another. But love cannot be coerced. Love must be freely given. Therefore, God created us with the capacity to choose to love or not love. All other choices pale before this basic choice: to love or not to love. It is the unbroken teaching of the Catholic Church, that God created us with freedom.
Keep reading.
Comment on this article
Support Ruth
|
