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Action Item: Go to Ruthblog.org for the latest from Dr. J at the Prop 8 trial. While you're there, check out our other important blog posts on social issues affecting your life. Then, join in on the discussion. Things are always hopping at the Ruth blog!

Talking Point: Stop talking and just listen for a change. (See this week's marriage tip. See ALL the marriage tips here.)

Dr. Freda Bush @ ITAF 2011 Dr. Freda Bush delivers a talk at our "It Takes a Family to Raise a Village" conference this year. She's speaking on the "Medical and Emotional Consequences of Casual Sex." (Click the POD icon.)

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Lutheran Public Radio: Dr. J is usually on live on Tuesdays from 2-2:15 p.m. Pacific Time (Click the link to listen live or find a station near you.)

TODAY--San Francisco, CA  Live-blogging from the Prop 8 trial. Follow the action at Ruthblog.org.

September 23-25--Detroit, MI Fellowship of Catholic Scholars meeting. Receiving Cardinal O’Boyle Award. "Marriage, Society and the Common Good: The Catholic Perspective in the Public Square" (members only)

October 3--Southern Methodist University Law school and Baylor Law School, debates on Same Sex Marriage/Marriage Redefinition

October 10-12--La Crosse, WI Ruth Institute program, joint with the Diocese of La Crosse for training Catholic priests (invitation only)

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Do you need advice on how to improve your marriage or relationship, or on how to find the right person for you? Expert Dr. J is here for you. Click here to ask your question, which may be featured anonymously in this newsletter for the benefit of all.

Read past questions and answers here.

Need help with your marriage? You can also check out Dr. J's "101 Tips for a Happier Marriage!"

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Today is a hearing on Proposition 8 in the Supreme Court of CA. I will be live-blogging from the Court House in San Francisco, starting at 10 AM, Pacific Time. Watch Ruthblog.org for continual updates on the hearing. What happens in the Prop 8 trial in California matters to everyone because if the courts find a federal right to genderless marriage, that will become the law in all 50 states.

The issue today is NOT the issue of Prop 8 itself. Today, the issue is whether the proponents of Prop 8, the Protect Marriage committee which placed Prop 8 on the ballot, have standing to defend Prop 8 in court. This is an extremely important issue for these reasons:

· If the Proponents do not have standing to defend Prop 8, the measure will fail by default, since the officials of the State of California refuse to defend it.

· If the Court rules that the Proponents do not have standing, this will destroy the initiative process in CA. the point of the initiative process is to allow the people to be heard on issues they believe the officials of the government are ignoring. The State of CA ordinarily defends its own laws. But if the governor and the attorney general refuse to defend ballot initiatives they don’t like, then they can effectively veto ballot measures.

So keep up with the latest here.

Remind yourself that it is in your interest to know what your spouse has to say. Your spouse is telling you something about what he or she believes to be true, or something about what he or she is feeling. You don't have to agree in order to absorb the fact that this is what they think or feel.

This can be a matter of pride and patience (no, not necessarily prejudice). Sometimes we are so intent on saying what we want to say, either because we feel what we say is the end all, be all of the discussion, or we think whatever he or she has to say is unimportant, or just because we don't want to take the time to listen. But how many times have you shut your mouth long enough to discover that what he or she said actually was worthwhile, and without hearing it, you would have drawn the wrong conclusion of his or her stance. You might say, "Hold up. That was actually a good point. I thought you were going to say something else, and I was all ready to refute it." Other people's positions matter, too. Shut up and listen. You may actually learn something. 

Want more marriage saving tips? Find them all here.

by Patrick F. Fagan, Ph.D. and Scott Talkington, Ph.D.
Dr. Fagan is senior fellow and director of the Marriage and Religion Research Institute (MARRI) at Family Research Council.

The 1997 National Longitudinal Survey of Youth shows that students who now worship weekly and who grew up with two married parents are most likely to have received a high school degree.

Examining current religious attendance and structure of family of origin, 93 percent of students who grew up in intact married families and who attend weekly religious services have received a high school degree. Only 68 percent of students from all other family structures who never attend religious services received a high school degree. Eighty-nine percent of those who never worship but grew up in intact families and 81 percent of those who attend religious services weekly but come from other family structures received high school degrees.

Examining current religious attendance only, 87 percent of students who attend weekly religious services received a high school degree. In contrast, only 70 percent of those who never worship received a high school degree. Between these two extremes are those who attend at least monthly (81 percent) and those who attend less than monthly (76 percent).

Examining structure of family of origin, 91 percent of individuals who grew up with married biological parents received a high school degree. They are followed by those who grew up in a married stepfamily (80 percent), those who grew up with a single, divorced parent (76 percent), those who grew up in a cohabiting stepfamily (68 percent), those who grew up with an always-single parent (63 percent), and those who grew up in an intact cohabiting family (60 percent).

Related Insights from Other Studies:
Nan Marie Astone and Sarah S. McLanahan, then of the University of Wisconsin at Madison, found that children from single-parent and stepfamilies completed high school at lower rates than children from intact married families.
Another study found that families were conducive to children’s academic achievement.

Another study affirms the importance of religious attendance for education. One study found that the more frequently youths attended religious activities, the more likely they were to give recognition to good grades, spend more time on homework, and have a positive attitude toward academics.

For a link to the charts and to comment on this article, click here.

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