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Some words of encouragement from a Ruth Institute It Takes a Family conference alumn:

"I just got done listening to the FOX News “Strategy Room” discussion you were recently involved in with Mr. Stetson and others. I wanted to offer my encouragement and say that I am proud of the way that you presented your arguments and information. I thought that you were right on with many of the things you said, and I was very happy that you did not bring your discussion down to the level of some of the other members, one in particular.

You relied on research, recorded data, and accepted theological or economic theory rather than simple subjective viewpoints and conjecture. The difference in worldview of the members was evident, which is to be expected; however, it was refreshing that neither you nor Chuck felt the need to resort to some of the arbitrary opinion arguments, not to mention somewhat rude and unbecoming facial expressions, that certain member(s) of the panel resorted to.

I think you are doing great things for our society through your efforts on the marriage front and encourage you to continue your efforts... I am proud to be involved in some small way with this marriage movement, and my eyes wouldn’t have been opened to it except through the Ruth Institute."

-Nate Heinen, Grove City College, Pennsylvania

Thank you, Nate! Keep up your good work, too!

Prop 8 Update The San Francisco Chronicle broke the story last week: Justice Walker, presiding over the Prop 8 federal court case on whether to overturn the decisive will of the voters of California, is a homosexual. Frustratingly, the news on the case up to this point has been about all the leniency and powers of intrusive investigation Judge Walker has granted to the pro-gay-marriage side of the case. Dr. J has more on the issue. (Click on POD.)

Lutheran Public Radio: Dr. J is usually on live Tuesdays from 2-2:15 p.m. Pacific Time (Click the link to listen live or find a station near you.)

March 5-6: "Stand for the Family" Conference and essay contest, BYU.

March 29: Houston Baptist University

April 16: "The Institution Formerly Known as Marriage: An Economist's Lament," University of Dallas

• To prevent mailbox filters from deleting mailings from The Ruth Institute, add jmorse@ruthinstitute.org to your address book

Thanks again to those who participated in this month's marriage quiz. Once again, the question was:

What percentage of Artificial Reproductive Technology patients are married couples, and what percentage are unmarried women?
A. The vast majority of ART patients, about 75%, are married couples.
B. It is split about evenly between married and unmarried women.
C. It is evenly split three ways: about a third married women, about a third partnered lesbians and about a third single women.
D. None of the above.

Click here and scroll down to view the answer.

Here is Dr. J on Fox News' "Strategy Room" regarding National Marriage Week USA. Check it out on the Ruth Institute YouTube page.

Remind yourself that you are not required to believe what your spouse says.

This tip comes from the section "Handling Negative Information about yourself," but I believe it would also fit well in "Winning is for Losers." A wise woman named Kimberly Hahn once pointed out that sometimes, especially in the heat of an argument, people say things they don't really mean. Try not to take it personally when you know they're not really being themselves. It's like when you take a picture of someone just as they sneeze or yawn. The picture comes out terrible and you say, "It doesn't do him justice." Sometimes what he says doesn't do him, or you, justice.

Want more marriage-saving tips? Find them all here.

by Jennifer Lahl, CBC National Director and Ruth Institute Academic Advisory Board Member

Newsweek recently reported a story about a 51-year-old man, who between 1980 and 1994 donated his sperm twice a week in order to make cash for medical school and to nurture his altruistic desires to help infertile women. Kirk Maxey states, "I loved having kids, and to have these women doomed to wandering around with no family didn't seem right, and it's easy to come up with a semen donation."

Don't get me started.

By his own estimates, this do-gooder, go-to stud figures he's got 400 children in the U.S. But now, some 15 years later, Maxey's conscience is catching up with him. He's seeking to right his wrongs by making his genome publicly available to the Harvard Personal Genome Project, in order for his offspring and their mothers to find him and have access to his genetic information. Of course, he's also blaming the unregulated sperm scattering seed industry for not keeping track of the number of children produced by each donor, and not doing genetic screening and testing to make sure donors and subsequent children are healthy.

Maxey's story illustrates so many of the fertility industry's dark and shady issues:

1.  Maxey, an educated medical student, admits to not giving much thought to his actions. So much for being a bright medical student. Just because you are smart, doesn't make you wise.

2.  The sperm donation is referred to as "volunteering." This isn't the army, the local library or a soup kitchen. For his volunteerism and donating spirit, Maxey pocketed a steady stream of cash totaling some $29,000.

3.  Twice a week for 14 years, he "locked himself in a room with a cup and a sexy magazine" at the suggestion of his first wife, a nurse at the fertility clinic. They are no longer married. One has to wonder the impact of regular indulgences with "sexy magazines," and the negative impact on a marriage.

4.  Four hundred children don't know their father. And if they find him, what kind of relationship is Maxey expecting? What sort of parent relationship is he willing to develop with 400 children? That is a lot of college education, weddings and birthdays to provide for.

5.  Notice that only after the damage is done, has he experienced his great-awakening. I've said it before and I'll say it again, IVF is one of the greatest social experiments of our time, with so many casually -- scratch that . . . recklessly -- pursuing reproductive technology as the solution to infertility. How many lives need to be ruined or destroyed for us to wake up? Maxey is just one of thousands of sperm and egg donors who've contributed to this colossal baby-making enterprise.

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou depicts Ulysses Everett McGill (played by George Clooney), a man who desperately wants to reconcile with his estranged wife and be reunited with his children. His wife has plans to remarry to a gentleman whom she claims is bona fide. Even McGill’s little daughter accuses her father of not being bona fide, to which he exclaims, I’m the only daddy you got! I’m the paterfamilias! Maxey already has two daughters who have found him through the genome project. One has to ask, is he bona fide? Is he the paterfamilias? Or is he just another deadbeat, sperm-donor dad?

Read more at the Ruth Institute home page.

This article was first published at the Center for Bioethics and Culture Network.

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