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Gay Lifestyle Refugee

There is only one way to be "gay." No one ever has any regrets, pain, or conflicting narratives once they join the movement.

ARE YOU A VICTIM OF THE SEXUAL REVOLUTION?

Dear Friend,

We have identified twelve categories of people who have been harmed by the Sexual Revolution. This questionnaire explores Gay Lifestyle Refugees. Use this checklist to see if you are a Victim of the Sexual Revolution.

Our goal here is not merely to identify Victims. The goal is to help the Victims become Survivors, and the Survivors to become Activists for positive change.

Are You a Gay Lifestyle Refugee?

  • Have you ever been disappointed over a sexual encounter?
  • Have you ever felt cheated by the difference between what you were told to expect and what actually happened in a sexual encounter?
  • Have you ever felt used during or after a sexual encounter?
  • Have you ever felt peer pressure to be sexually active in a situation in which you did not want to have sex?
  • Have you ever felt depressed or sad over a disappointing sexual encounter?
  • Have you ever felt ashamed of hooking up with someone?
  • Have you ever woken up after a sexual encounter and realized you didn’t know the name of the person next to you?
  • Have you ever longed for a deeper connection with a sex partner?
  • Have you ever felt jealous over a sex partner’s involvement with someone else?
  • Have you ever been criticized by peers for being “clingy” or over-attached or over-involved with a sex partner?
  • Do you feel your current relationship has suffered from any of your past relationships or sexual encounters?
  • Have you ever been stalked by a former sex partner?
  • Have you ever been obsessed with or stalked a former sex partner?
  • Have you ever had sex while drunk or high?
  • Have you ever secretly drugged someone so you could have sex with them?
  • Have you ever been accused of sexual harassment or rape when you knew you were innocent?
  • Have you ever been accused of sexual harassment or rape when you weren’t sure whether you were guilty or innocent?
  • Have you ever had a sexual encounter that started as voluntary but which morphed into something you didn’t want?
  • If you have refused to be involved in a sexual encounter or situation, did you feel socially ostracized or criticized?
  • Have you ever wondered whether you need a different group of friends with different values?
  • Did anyone ever tell you that you could keep your orientation, but change your behavior?  
  • Did you ever feel pressured to stay in the gay lifestyle?
  • Do you have religious reasons for wanting to be sexually abstinent?
  • If so, did anyone ridicule your religious views?
  • Did anyone ever tell you that it was impossible for you to change?
  • Were people unclear about whether they meant “impossible to change behavior” or “impossible to change orientation?”
  • Do you feel that your situation as a Gay-lifestyle Refugee is socially invisible?

(This page helps complete Step 1We honestly Face and Embrace the Impact of the Sexual Revolution on our lives. If you are not familiar with the “7 Steps to Sexual Peace,” go here.)

LINKS WE LIKE

Courage International – a ministry to men and women who experience same-sex attractions and those who love them.

Help 4 Families – help for the gender-confused and their families

Related Resources

If you are a Gay Lifestyle Refugee, you may benefit from these resources created or compiled by the Ruth Institute.

We are adding to our library of resources all the time. If you know of an organization that provides assistance to formerly gay people who wish to live some other way, please share that information with us. Click here to submit a link. Or submit an article, podcast or video with helpful information for Gay Lifestyle Refugees.