Marriage movement makes waves in New Zealand

Carolyn Moynihan

The marriage movement is making itself felt in Australia and New Zealand with the publication of a report, 21 Reasons Why Marriage Matters, this week. A coalition of marriage and family advocacy groups is backing the report, which is based on local and international research showing the benefits of marriage over alternative arrangements for family life.

“This edition has 146 researched footnotes including NZ-based research and presents strong evidence that marriage is more than a private emotional relationship. It is a social good and we should develop policies, laws, and family and community interventions to help strengthen marriages. The weakening of marriage is one of the most important social issues we are facing in NZ,” says Bob McCoskrie, National Director of Family First NZ.

http://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/view/marriage_movement_makes_waves_in_new_zealand/

Great sites for being Black and Married!

http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/

http://www.happilyeverafterthemovie.com/

http://www.dailypress.com/news/opinion/dp-op_malonecolon_0830aug30,0,3101162.story

Why the black community can't talk about marriage
by Malone-Colon

Ask yourself: When is the last time you heard a public leader talk about the crisis in marriage and family and why it is urgent that as a country we give our attention to this crisis and its consequences? The answer is probably never or rarely.
What is being proposed by these leaders to address the dramatic increases in children born out of wedlock (72 percent for African-Americans), divorce, cohabitation, those who never marry and the decline in marital quality?

Ask Dr. J!

Do have a marriage or relationship question you'd like to ask Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse, author of "101 Tips for a Happier Marriage" and "Smart Sex"? Email your question to jgruber@ruthinstitute.org. These questions, which remain completely anonymous, are featured every other week in Dr. J's weekly e-newsletter. If you're not already a subscriber, you can sign up here.

Dating Advice: 7 Powerful Ways to Keep Your Love Alive

http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/24296/dating-advice-7-powerful-ways-to-keep-your-love-alive/

Newlyweds’ arguments can predict divorce

Carolyn Moynihan

What are the odds of a lasting marriage for newly-weds who argue angrily over money or other issues? Not very good, according to British mathematician James Murray, who has devised a formula that he claims can predict divorce 94 per cent of the time. “Some couples might as well get divorced right away,” he says after conducting a study with 700 newly married couples.

http://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/newlyweds_arguments_can_predict_divorce/

More People in Love Than Previously Thought

Clara Moskowitz


Romeo and Juliet would approve: A new study found that romantic love can stand the test of time.

Though it is widely held that romance and sex must ultimately yield to friendly companionship over time, new research found that's not the case. Instead about 13 percent of people reported high levels of romance in their long-term relationships, in a new study published in the March issue of the journal Review of General Psychology.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20090320/sc_livescience/morepeopleinlovethanpreviouslythought

Ten ways to be happy in marriage

By Jeff Herring

1. Often in marriage, especially in the early years, there is a choice: You can be right or you can be happy - not both. Choose wisely.
As a friend of mine said after his first year of marriage: "I finally figured out that the sun will come up tomorrow if we do it her way."

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Career choice: spouse first

by Lea Singh

Mr Right is unlikely to just turn up while a girl is getting on with her own life.

An interesting article caught my eye this week with its catchy subtitle: "I should have ditched feminism for love, children and baking". In that article, Zoe Lewis writes about her regret at pursuing a career at the expense of relationships and children. Now nearly 37 and a successful playwright, she has woken up to the reality of an empty pot at the end of the feminist rainbow: "from what I see and feel, loving relationships and children bring more happiness than work ever can".

Florida makes effort to save, build marriages

Charlie Butts - OneNewsNow

A new campaign has been launched in Florida to give marriages a boost. Florida Family Policy Council spent four years successfully fighting a battle for a constitutional amendment to protect the traditional view of marriage. Now, Council president John Stemberger says they are focusing on strengthening marriage through the three-year-long "Strong Marriages Florida" campaign.

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'Fireproof' wins Christian movie award

Associated Press

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. - Chalk up another honor for the moviemakers from Sherwood Baptist Church in Albany, Georgia. Their drama Fireproof has won this year's Epiphany Prize for the Most Inspiring Movie of 2008.

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Do You Need a Marital Checkup?

Study: An Annual Tuneup Could Improve Your Relationship

When most people hear the word checkup, they might think of semi-annualdental visits or physicals, but it turns out an examination might also helpimprove the health of your marriage.Psychologist James Cordova is convinced annual marital counseling canimprove relationships, and he said a recent study he led proves it.

"Essentially, what we've discovered over time is that marital health, reallyis a health concern. The qualities of a person's marriage and the extent towhich they are doing well in that marriage have a dramatic effect onphysical health and mental health," said Cordova, an associate professor ofpsychology at Clark University in Worcester, Mass.

The Study

In a two-year National Institutes of Health study, Cordova followed 68couples, who varied in age, for six months. On average the pairs had beentogether for 15 years, with the husbands' ages around 47 and the wives' 44.

Half of the married couples were given marriage checkups, which includedtherapy once a year, and the other pairs received no therapy at all.

Cordova found that the couples who participated in the two-session checkupintervention, which included completing a battery of questions andface-to-face assessment, fared better.

"Marital satisfaction improves for couples who have been through counselingonce a year, while control couples didn't improve at all," Cordova said."People that have been through the marriage checkup are improving in allkinds of ways in comparison to couples who haven't."

Participants David Bayer and his wife Kay said they've seen a difference intheir marriage since they joined the study. The two, who have been marriedfor 23 years, said they decided to participate because they were worriedabout the future.

"We had two really close friends get divorced and it sort of hit us whenthey got divorced: 'What happened to them?' So, we're trying to improve onwhat we saw go wrong," Kay Bayer said.The Bayers said their biggest weakness was communication, but both havelearned to find more effective ways to talk to each other because of thestudy.

Marriage Concerns

"You don't realize the little things that may affect your marriage," KayBayer said. "[I was] learning to speak more clearly to him so he couldunderstand where I was coming from. I tend not to think before I speak onsome issues."

The Bayers' experience was typical of what other couples who took part inthe checkups found, Cordova said.

"They feel more intimate in their relationship," Cordova said of the coupleswho engaged in therapy. "They feel more accepting of each other, more ableto accept one another's warts and all. They're more active in takingdeliberate care of their marriage."

Common Complaints

Cordova said the most common complaint he hears from couples involves notbeing able to fit their marriages into a hectic lifestyle.

"[The] things we help them with [are] to notice that it's an issue, tonotice they're suffering from it and figure out ways to make time," he said.

Cordova said he hopes more couples will focus on what's right in theirmarriages and build on those strengths.

Click here for more information about Cordova's study:http://tinyurl.com/5o89bu