Parenting pathways

Carolyn Moynihan

If your parents were negative and harsh with you growing up, that’s theway you will be with your kids. And if they were positive andaffectionate, well, lucky for your kids. That’s the assumption behind apopular theory of parenting, but researchers who have done long-termstudies say it’s wrong. Read more...

The UN’s sex-ed plan for kids

Carolyn Moynihan

Some years ago I saw a cartoon whose subject becomes more real by the day. It showed a Brave-New-Wold nursery in which newborns were being instructed via a loudspeaker: “Today you will be going home, but before you go, here is your first sex education lesson...” I was reminded of it by a Fox News report of a new universal sex-ed curriculum from UNESCO.

The UN’s Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organisation has decided that, “in a world affected by HIV and AIDS”, it is “imperative” to teach children as young as 5 about masturbation as well as “gender roles, stereotypes and gender-based violence”.

http://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/view/the_uns_sex-ed_plan_for_kids/

All shall be poor

Barbara Kay

How today’s sexual narcissists insist on propagating their dreary values.

A hot new must-read book making the rounds is Frenchwoman Corinne Maier's No Kids: Forty Good Reasons Not To Have Children. Having read her embarrassingly superficial Maclean's interview and perused the jejune list of what constitutes "reasons" for Maier --kids cut into your "fun," kids are "conformists" --I'll pass on actually reading the book. Yet, because it would seem there was both money and celebrity to be gleaned from time Maier might otherwise have idly frittered away in an afternoon nap, I'm tempted to give the idea a whirl myself.

http://www.mercatornet.com/articles/view/all_shall_be_poor/

What the Experts Are Saying Now

The most recent research in child development. Among the findings: 4-year-olds lie once an hour.

By KAY HYMOWITZ
For more than a century American parents—ever more distanced from grandmothers and ­suspicious of tradition—have looked to social ­science to explain their children to them. Thus they have gobbled up books and articles by experts who ­periodically deliver the latest truths about ­child-rearing. Back in 1945, when Dr. Spock published his "Baby and Child Care," readers' devotion to expert opinion was so intense that he began his book with the reassuring words: "Trust yourself." Not that he ­believed it. The book was jammed with advice.
Now, in "NurtureShock," Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman survey the newest new findings about child development. Little in the book is all that shocking, but given our enthusiasm for turning tentative child ­research into settled policy, the studies that the ­authors discuss are of more than passing interest.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203706604574371422231600220.html

Art galleries that don’t respect children

Carolyn Moynihan

Is it safe to take your children to an art gallery these days? A writer complains in the New York Times about taking his twin boys, aged 7, to one of his favourite galleries and running into an exhibition with “graphic images”. The name, “And/Or”, provided no clue to the genitalia displayed; the warning sign at the entrance was in very small print.

http://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/view/art_galleries_that_dont_respect_children/

Children are worth having

Barbara Lilley

Are people who have children selfish? Would the world be better off if more of us were childless?
In an August 3, 2009 Maclean's Magazine article, “No Kids, No Grief”, author Anne Kingston takes a look at what appears to be a growing and vocal section of society – people who have decided against having children. The reasons for refusing to procreate seem to run along the lines of the following: it's better for the environment, children are expensive, having them means you have to give up some material things you'd rather not and my personal favourite, childless marriages are far happier.

http://www.mercatornet.com/articles/view/children_are_worth_having/

A parent's guiding influence

Mark Gregston

A parent's desire to hold on to a child's innocence in his early years is normal and necessary. Early childhood is obviously not the right time for them to know certain things. But kids today are exposed to negative influences at earlier and earlier ages, and it is often out of a parent's control.

Age 16 used to be the benchmark for teens. It was the age most could begin to drive, and when given a set of car keys, the influence a parent has on how much of the world their teen experiences changes dramatically. But today, a younger teen has the keys to "drive" on over to some of the seediest places on earth, with the click of a mouse button. The Internet has changed everything.
http://www.onenewsnow.com/Perspectives/Default.aspx?id=640998

New Zealand parents reject smacking ban

Carolyn Moynihan

The Great Smacking Debate is in full flight in New Zealand where a lawchange two years ago specifically banned the use of “force” for thepurpose of correcting children. Opponents of the new law collectedenough signatures to secure a referendum on the smacking issue, whichtakes place next month. A New Zealand Herald poll last week shows that85 per cent of parents of young children plan to vote No on thequestion: “Should a smack as part of good parental be a criminaloffence in New Zealand?”

http://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/view/new_zealand_parents_reject_smacking_ban/

'Raising children properly' requires stay-at-home parent: Alberta minister

Liberal leader demands apology from Iris Evans for 'outrageous claims'
Alberta's Liberal leader is demanding an apology from Finance Minister Iris Evans, who suggested that in order to raise children "properly" one parent should stay at home while the other goes to work.

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/calgary/story/2009/06/17/education-iris-evans-alberta-minister.html?ref=rss

Internet, the thief of family time

Carolyn Moynihan

If anybody doubted it, research by one of America’s leading journalisminstitutes confirms that the Internet is making inroads into familytime. Members are dealing with each other less face-to-face, women inparticular are tending to feel ignored at times, and parents worry thattheir children are spending too much time online.

http://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/view/internet_the_thief_of_family_time/

Tiger Woods: ‘Nothing beats fun with the kids’

Carolyn Moynihan
What is it about golf and fatherhood? Jack Nicklaus was the super dad(of five) of his day. A few years ago it New Zealand whiz-kid MichaelCampbell who carried the torch for family life. Now it’s Tiger Woods,poster boy for Father’s Day as he delights in the recent expansion ofhis family.

http://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/view/tiger_woods_nothing_beats_fun_with_the_kids/

Dealing with teen anger

Mark Gregston

Anger in your teenager can take on many faces. It can be a seething anger kept quietly below the surface, or a tidal wave unleashed on everyone around them. Anger can manifest itself in a covert refusal to comply with your household rules or wishes, or outright acts that can ruin their relationships, undermine their own future or bring harm to themselves. And if left unchecked, it can lead to violence and trouble with the law.

Anger in teenagers usually comes from some unmet need or heart-longing. Such "wants" can be immature and selfish; like wanting more material things. Or the more complicated want for control and independence. But these can also be a smokescreen for deeper wants, like the want for love, acceptance, or even the want for more clearly defined rules to live by. Or, it can be a want for life to be the way it was before a major event took place, like the breakup of the family, the loss of innocence, or a betrayal. Anger can also come from the want to not be ridiculed or bullied, or the want to be "normal" as defined by today's teen culture.

http://www.onenewsnow.com/Perspectives/Default.aspx?id=560652

Fighting parents drive teens to drink

Carolyn Moynihan

The research is clear: adolescents tend to fare better -- academicallyand behaviourally -- when they live with both biological parents. And that’s a couple of scientists talking. But there is an exception: when their parents frequently argue, young adults are much more likely to binge on alcohol; they also tend to smoke, and their poor school grades are similar to those of peers who don’t have their own mum and dad at home.

http://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/view/fighting_parents_drive_teens_to_drink/

Imaginary friends are natural

Carolyn Moynihan

Are children who have imaginary friends a little abnormal? Are theycompensating for a lack of real friends or for some internal malaise?Not at all, according to Australian researchers at La Trobe University.In fact, it seems to come naturally to the majority of children toinvent an invisible companion. What’s more, it gives them better socialskills than those who don’t.

http://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/view/imaginary_friends_are_natural/

Fearless parenting

Mark Gregston

Fearful parents of teenagers today often believe that they'll avoid trouble by keeping their teenager always in their sight, by fixing their every problem, and by generally keeping them under their control. But I've learned that parents will gain more in the long run, and could avoid a season of teenage rebellion, by taking decisive steps to give up some of the control they have over their teen's daily life.

http://www.onenewsnow.com/Perspectives/Default.aspx?id=551698

Love isn’t enough

Trayce L. Hansen Ph.D.

Mothers and fathers are not interchangeable. Children need the love of both. Proponents of same-sex marriage believe the only thing children really need is love. Based on that supposition, they conclude it’s just as good for children to be raised by loving parents of the same sex, as it is to be raised by loving parents of the opposite sex. Unfortunately, that basic assumption—and all that flows from it—is false. Because love isn’t enough!

http://www.mercatornet.com/articles/view/love_isnt_enough/

From grades to goals: middle schoolers and education

Carolyn Moynihan

Helping middle school students with their homework may not be the bestway to get them on the honour roll. But telling them how importantacademic performance is to their future job prospects and providingspecific strategies to study and learn might clinch the grades,according to a research review.

http://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/view/from_grades_to_goals_middle_schoolers_and_education/

Many teens wired, caffeinated well past bedtime

By Anne Harding

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Caffeine-fueled teens are texting, Web-surfing and gaming for hours into the night, which is affecting their alertness and ability to function during the day, a new study in Pediatrics shows.

"They're up at night and they're dong a lot less homework than we thought and a lot more multitasking," Dr. Christina J. Calamaro of Drexel University in Philadelphia, the lead researcher on the study, told Reuters Health.

http://health.yahoo.com/news/reuters/us_teens_wired.html

WETZSTEIN: It's not always just about you

It isn’t just about you. Thankfully, some scholars and media commentators are getting the point that “self-esteem” is not an unlimited good: http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/may/24/wetzstein-its-not-always-just-about-you/

Posted by Jennifer

Think family, not soul-mate, Singapore tells singles

Carolyn Moynihan

Singapore’s National Family Council is pushing the boundaries of taste somewhat in its latest effort to promote marriage and family life, but the island nation’s dismal fertility rate of 1.09 children per woman helps explain why.
As part of its Think Family campaign the council is running a competition for the “most imperfect-perfect couple” (prize: romantic getaway) and an ad in which a widow pays a funny/sad tribute to her deceased husband’s “imperfections” at his funeral. A trifle crass, but evidently a necessary wake-up call for Singapore singles waiting too long for the perfect mate to turn up.

http://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/view/think_family_not_soul_mate_singapore_tells_singles/

Teens and the stress they put on parents

Mark Gregston

Has your teen figured out that he can live without a care in the world for the problems his irresponsible behavior creates, or the stress it puts on you as a parent? Do you spend all your time worrying about him or trying to figure out how to get him to behave differently?

Whenever I see a teen who is irresponsible, and happy to be so, I know his parents are the ones who are quite miserable. The more they try to take control and change their teen's poor choices, the worse the behavior becomes. It's what I call "the spin cycle," a downward spiral in teen behavior that often results in their life spinning totally out of control or ending in dire consequences. And the whole family spins out of control, too.

http://www.onenewsnow.com/Perspectives/Default.aspx?id=535090

The secret of self-control

Carolyn Moynihan

Remember the marshmallow kids? The four-year-olds who were tested for their ability to delay taking a sweet back in the late 1960s are still under the microscope as scientists try to fathom the secrets of self control. According to The New Yorker, the experiment went like this. Children from the Bing Nursery School at Stanford University were invited into a room where they could be observed and allowed to pick a treat from a tray of marshmallows, cookies and pretzel sticks. They were told they could eat it straight away, or they could wait a few minutes and then have two when the researcher returned.

http://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/view/the_secret_of_self_control/

Old-fashioned parenting good for everyone

Pete Chagnon - OneNewsNow -

The head of the Beverly LaHaye Institute says a recent report on the number of unwed mothers highlights a problem over 40 years in the making.

According to a recent report on U.S. births, the number of babies born to unwed mothers is sharply rising. Currently the rate stands at about 40 percent. An Associated Press report quotes one of the researchers as saying the rise is due to the amount of women who believe they do not have to live under the same rules as their parents.

http://www.onenewsnow.com/Culture/Default.aspx?id=529832

Home schoolers get 'A' from marketing exec

Pete Chagnon - OneNewsNow -

The chief operating officer of a marketing and networking firm is lauding the achievements of home schoolers. Josephine Nicholas is the CEO of Published Daily, a firm started by her brother and run with the help of two other siblings. All four were home-schooled. Josephine says, according to research, home schoolers typically score higher and are more ambitious than their peers.

http://www.onenewsnow.com/Education/Default.aspx?id=528508

Embracing the sinful child

Mark Gregston

Some parent may not understand the need for my encouragement to continue loving their adult children regardless of their actions, thinking it impossible to do anything else. But for others, they know exactly what I am talking about. It's all you can do to keep from ringing their necks!

http://www.onenewsnow.com/Perspectives/Default.aspx?id=526682

Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood

Readers: Have you ever heard of this group? What do you think of them?

"Consuming Kids, a new film from The Media Education Foundation featuring CCFC staff and Steering Committee members, takes a powerful look at how corporations relentlessly target children and the impact of that marketing. It's also the perfect organizing tool to raise awareness about the commercialization of childhood. That's why CCFC members all over the country are hosting screenings of Consuming Kids in their communities."

http://www.commercialfreechildhood.org/

Calif. school day would honor homosexual pioneer

Charlie Butts and Jody Brown - OneNewsNow -

The California State Senate is poised to vote on a bill making an official "homosexual day" in every public school.

It would be called "Harvey Milk Day" in honor of the openly homosexual San Francisco Board of Supervisors member who was shot and killed in 1978 along with the city's mayor, George Moscone. S.B. 572, which was approved 7-to-2 out of committee last week, says observances conducted on May 22 should recognize Milk's "accomplishments as well as the contributions he made to this state" -- and that "all public schools and educational institutions are encouraged to observe...and...conduct suitable commemorative exercises."

http://www.onenewsnow.com/Politics/Default.aspx?id=522496

School sued over lesbian lecturer

Charlie Butts - OneNewsNow -

The Pacific Justice Institute is suing a California school district after students were addressed by a lesbian pastor. Brad Dacus, founder of the Pacific Justice Institute, tells OneNewsNow a lesbian minister visited Castro Valley High School and gave a presentation called "Out for Good." The parents found out about the incident after the fact.

http://www.onenewsnow.com/Legal/Default.aspx?id=522194

Coming to a public school near you!

“Under no obligation to notify parents”

Pro-homosexual curricula in California’s public schools target elementary students, kindergartners

Lesson plans and educational policies are pushing the multi-sexual agenda -- and excluding parents -- as seen in newly released materials for elementary school children in California.

http://www.calcatholic.com/news/newsArticle.aspx?id=b54e2105-0b7c-4e5a-ab66-621abee5001d

Mass. lawmakers push for 'gay'-friendly school programs

Pete Chagnon - OneNewsNow -

Since $850,000 in school funding for "gay"-friendly programs has been potentially cut from the 2010 Massachusetts budget, lawmakers -- at the behest of homosexual activists -- are lookingfor ways to get the funding reinstated.
http://www.onenewsnow.com/Education/Default.aspx?id=511392

Video game addiction among kids is real, a study suggests

Carolyn Moynihan
When does a 12-year-old’s fascination with video games become an addiction? Perhaps it never does, but only looks like that to over-anxious parents. Psychologist Douglas Gentile was inclined to take that view before conducting research on the subject. It turned out he was wrong.

http://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/view/video_game_addiction_among_kids_is_real_a_study_suggests/

Mass. lawmakers push for 'gay'-friendly school programs

Pete Chagnon - OneNewsNow -

Since $850,000 in school funding for "gay"-friendly programs has been potentially cut from the 2010 Massachusetts budget, lawmakers -- at the behest of homosexual activists -- are looking
for ways to get the funding reinstated.

http://www.onenewsnow.com/Education/Default.aspx?id=511392

Video game addiction among kids is real, a study suggests

Carolyn Moynihan

When does a 12-year-old’s fascination with video games become an addiction? Perhaps it never does, but only looks like that to over-anxious parents. Psychologist Douglas Gentile was inclined to take that view before conducting research on the subject. It turned out he was wrong.

http://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/view/video_game_addiction_among_kids_is_real_a_study_suggests/

Parents protest 'sexpresso' shop next to daycare center

Charlie Butts - OneNewsNow

A group of parents is protesting a drive-through espresso stand in Everett, Washington, that features scantily clad hostesses. Bunny Baristas is located at the only entrance to the parking lot at a daycare center. The female shop attendant wears a revealing bikini top and skimpy shorts, as well as bunny ears and tail. Allison Alexander, one of the parents interviewed by KING-TV, has a two-year-old daughter who attends the daycare, which is located next to the espresso shop and another daycare center.

http://www.onenewsnow.com/Culture/Default.aspx?id=500370

Concerned about offensive language on TV?

Allie Martin - OneNewsNow

The Federal Communications Commission is being deluged with complaints about profanity on network television. The complaints prompted Congress to ask the FCC to look for advanced blocking technologies, including those that can filter language based upon information in closed captioning.

http://www.onenewsnow.com/Culture/Default.aspx?id=500184

For Whom The Clock Ticks

Daniel Heimpel

A growing body of research supports the idea that there are biological disadvantages to late-in-life fatherhood. But will society's view of male fertility ever change?

http://www.newsweek.com/id/194871

Impulsive in kindergarten, prone to gambling later

Carolyn Moynihan

The importance of the early years in shaping a child’s personality is borne out by much research. A Canadian longitudinal study has found that the more impulsive a kindergarten child is, the more likely they are to indulge in games of chance by sixth grade (age 11-12).

http://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/view/impulsive_in_kindergarten_prone_to_gambling_later/

How to save your family

Marcia Segelstein - Guest Columnist

Trying to raise innocent, decent, Christian children in today's world is challenging, to say the least. Young people are bombarded with sexual messages and images everywhere they turn. They're easy prey for marketers who encourage materialism and promote self-absorption and greed. And with God removed from the public square, maintaining faith means going against the crowd, something most teenagers find difficult to do. It's a tough time to be a kid.

http://www.onenewsnow.com/Perspectives/Default.aspx?id=497866

That’s Rich: an expert explains why parents don’t matter much

Carolyn Moynihan

Many professionals act as though parents were of little importance to the development of their children, but child development theorist Judith Rich Harris has actually written whole books about why that is the case. That would not matter very much except that, as she points out in an interview with Scientific American, “My work is now cited in many psychology textbooks and assigned in college courses.” The fact that most developmental psychologists don’t agree with her does not stop her from being influential.

http://www.mercatornet.com/new_family_edge/view/thats_rich_an_expert_explains_why_parents_dont_matter_much/

New Book Gives Ways to Save Your Family

Tasha Easterling

Just in case you're looking for some new idea in overcoming today's culture war against your children, there's a new book out entitled 30 Ways in 30 Days to Save Your Family written by Rebecca Hagelin. My fellow blogger Marcia Segelstein told me about this book, and it certainly sounds like a great resource to pick up.

http://www.onenewsnow.com/Blog/Default.aspx?id=479318

Schools and the rise of parent power

Carolyn Moynihan

The likelihood of a surge of parent power in British schooling under a future Conservative-led government has met with an ambivalent response in the current affairs magazine, Prospect. The possible adoption of the “Swedish model” allowing businesses, charities and parents to open schools funded by the government makes Prospect deputy editor James Crabtree slightly nervous. In an essay entitled, “They run your school, your mum and dad”, Crabtree accepts the trend of greater parental involvement in schools but finds the idea of parents “actually starting schools” and “oddly challenging vision” because “we don’t, after all, imagine patients starting hospitals, or commuters building roads.” (A comparison that fails to appreciate the role of parents as the first educators of their children.)

http://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/schools_and_the_rise_of_parent_power/

The spanking wars: anti group rolls out a meta-analysis

Carolyn Moynihan

The latest shot in the spanking wars has been fired by the US anti-spanking group End Physical Punishment of Children, through a review of existing research on the subject. The national lobby group suggested the idea of the meta-analysis to Elizabeth Gershoff of the University of Michigan (but did not fund the study) and she found that corporal punishment is not a good way to improve a child's behaviour...

However, the Family Research Council points out:Ironically, though, the research did not focus on spanking at all, but on "physical punishment." The study explicitly lumps together words like "spank," "slap," "beat," "punch," and "whip," treating them as if they are all the same thing...

Dr Gershoff, a mother of two, affirms the importance of discipline and suggests parents raise their voice or immediately take something away from the child to get their attention. Hmmm. But what if a toddler throws a tantrum precisely because you took something away from them, and what if they can make more noise than you? Isn't that the time for a short, sharp smack to snap them out of it? That's what 70 per cent of US adults still think, despite the campaign against such correction. ~ Arizona Republic, Mar 19

http://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/the_spanking_wars_anti_group_rolls_out_a_meta_analysis/#comments

Self-esteem fad has gone too far, psychologist tells teachers

Carolyn Moynihan

The lingering obsession with boosting children’s self esteem has been given the thumbs down by a Scottish psychologist, who says the idea has gone too far. “We are wrong in thinking we have to get the ‘I’ bigger,” said Dr Carol Craig, speaking at a British school and college leaders conference. “If we say to people the most important thing is how you feel about yourself, then if a child fails maths and feels bad, it is very tempting for them to blame it on others like teachers and parents. Parents no longer want to hear if their children have done anything wrong. This is the downside of the self esteem agenda.”

http://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/self_esteem_fad_has_gone_too_far_psychologist_tells_teachers/#comments

Making Room for Miss Manners Is a Parenting Basic

PERRI KLASS, M.D.

For years, I took care of a very rude child. When he was 3, I called him rambunctious — and I talked to his mother about “setting limits.” At 4, I called him “demanding.” At 5, he was still screaming at his mother if she didn’t do what he wanted, he still swatted me whenever I tried to examine him, and his mother asked me worriedly if I thought he was ready for kindergarten.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/13/health/13klas.html?_r=2&em

Parents who put their children before work will rescue British society

Gill Hornby

Parenting is vital and absolutely not something to outsource.
Well, at last. For every parent who has ever put family over career, this is your moment. Everybody who has ever been asked "And what do you do?" at a dinner party, who has answered "I stay at home with my children" and who has spent the rest of the evening looking at a turned shoulder – now you can gloat. If you have ever been told the funny story about how the toddler cried when the nanny left the room and the mother entered, and you didn't get the joke, now you know: it wasn't funny after all. The Children's Society's report into the living conditions of young people in Britain today has published some radical thoughts.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/personal-view/4438133/Parents-who-put-their-children-before-work-will-rescue-British-society.html

Leaving the kids to the village idiot

by Erin Manning

Want to try something counter-cultural, try avoiding the TV.

"Um, Mom..." my oldest daughter said worriedly as we sat down. The children had accompanied me on a recent visit to a doctor's office. The office was crowded, and the only place with enough seats for all of us was directly below a large screen TV, set to an all-news channel. Words like "assault," "stabbing death," and "arrested for possession of child pornography" blared out, repeating every so many minutes during our hour and a half wait. . .

I think about it now, though. And as flat screen technology has started to make television sets a common nuisance in stores, restaurants, doctor's offices, car repair shops, and many other places, more and more parents are having to deal with the consequences of this latest cultural intrusion.
When Hillary Clinton said that it took a village to raise a child, many conservatives howled at the notion. And rightly so, if by "village" is meant "increasingly socialist nanny-state," and if by "raise" is meant "usurp familial function and take over the role of the parents," which is what many were certain Mrs. Clinton did, indeed, mean by her words.

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Motherhood is good for the brain

by Carolyn Moynihan

This seems like an old story but evidently some people still need convincing: pregnancy does not turn a woman’s mind to “mush”, a new study finds. Researchers at the Australian National University interviewed 2500 people between the ages of 20 and 24 in 1999 and then repeated the process in 2003 and 2007. Professor Helen Christensen said the results showed that neither pregnancy nor motherhood had a detrimental effect on mental powers such as memory and logic.

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Selfish adults ruining childhood, says UK report

by Carolyn Moynihan

Yet another British report on how bad things are for children in that country blames most of the problems now facing young people on a culture of "excessive individualism" that has developed in recent decades. The Good Childhood Inquiry says the "me-first" attitude of adults is causing family breakdowns, competition in eduction, a growing gap between rich and poor, unkindness among teenagers and premature sexualization through advertising.

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